You're Not Alone: Regret

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You're Not Alone: Regret

You're Not Alone

Written by Ross Tayler

Saturday, 01 November 2008 14:19

I received an email asking me to write about regret.

My first thought when I think of regret is that it is something that is fuelled by the past. The thing about the past is that it doesn’t really exist in the now. You can’t change it you can’t influence it, you can only learn and grow from it. It’s like taking a history course in school, the purpose of exploring our history is to not repeat the same mistakes. Although, history can and does repeat itself just like life experiences will repeat until we learn from them and choose a different path.

Regret can be a gift, if you give yourself permission to look at it in that way. In other words, if you choose to acknowledge the essence of your regret you can develop awareness in the present that can influence your experiences and choices. For example, I could make the statement; “I regret not having more fun when I was a teenager”. You can change that thought and turn it into a positive energy in the present. Your new perspective could be; “I didn’t commit to having fun when I was a teenager, I will use this awareness to live life to the fullest going forward”. Regret is also about forgiveness. By forgiving yourself you are letting go of the past and moving to the future.

Regret is a thought. You can choose your thoughts and influence the impact that they have on your life. If our life purpose is to discover who we already are at our core, than part of that is changing our thoughts. Regret can take away your power, suck your energy and your happiness. By changing regret to awareness in the present moment, you are adding fuel to your gas tank which gives you energy to move forward.

To change regret to awareness for the future try asking yourself these questions. What could I have done differently? What is the gift of this experience? What can I do to ensure that this doesn’t happen again? Where is the lesson in this experience? Are my thoughts of this experience true? What is the cost of these thoughts in the present moment?

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” ~ Alexander Graham Bell
Please Email me your questions or post your comments below.

Comments

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Morna O'Neill

|64.59.144.xxx |2008-11-04 05:44:19

Great article Ross, it is a simple shift in perspective to go from pain to acceptance and stuck-in-the-past to moving-happily-forward.

Thanks to Jill for directing me to this!

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Ross Tayler - Thoughts on blame

|24.82.2.xxx |2008-11-02 06:00:59

Hi Jill,

Thanks for your question. Quite simply I think you could insert the word blame in place of regret in what I wrote above.

The positive awareness of blame is forgiveness. Forgiveness is an expansive and creative energy that opens possibilities for the future. It is the letting go of struggle and pain and creating the opportunity for healing. That's my short & sweet answer.

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